My friend Dan is hilarious.

From his MySpace.com page:

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Prairie Run Project
Current mood: determined
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

On Wednesday, March 1, I will attempt to run for 30 minutes. This is a blog of my preparations to do so, and also a parody of Paul's blog.

I just returned from Rudolph's Shoe Mart, where I purchased a $50 pair of New Balance running shoes. Salesman David J. Knutson insisted they were good shoes, and I took his word. I'm trying to recall whether David J. had a 'stache or just seemed like a mustache kind of guy.

After I tried on the shoes, a young woman who also worked there asked me if I needed help. David J., who was helping another nearby customer, circled back and glared her down: "Nuhuh. I got him. He's been helped." Must be commission.

Next, I bought a running costume at Target, along with an impulse-buy Johnny Cash CD. I bought some pants that seem like something runners would wear, along with a shirt made of some kind of space-age polymer product that disintegrates sweat on contact and makes you a better basketball player.

Then I stopped at the grocery store. I bought bread, vitamins, orange juice and Cocoa-Roos (generic Cocoa Puffs) cereal. A good breakfast and I think I'm going to be all ready to go running.

Why are you doing this to yourself?
It happens about once a year -- I buy new running shoes when it gets nice out and jog every other day for about a week and a half, then quit.

When and where will you attempt to run the 30 minutes?
Probably mid-evening, down to Falls Park and back in Sioux Falls, S.D.

Wait, didn't you raise laziness to a whole new level when you lived in Minneapolis?
No, you're thinking of Paul.

Won't your nipples bleed and your toenails fall off?
It's possible. According to Paul's blog, you're supposed to grease yourself with petroleum jelly to cut down on any friction.

Currently listening:
The Legend of Johnny Cash
By Johnny Cash
Release date: By 25 October, 2005

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Today: 60-minute treadmill run
Now playing: The Shins